The Quest for Perfection - Why it leaves us feeling empty every time

In honour of October being ADHD Awareness Month, Springboard Founder and Co-Director Laura MacNiven shares this piece to inspire and encourage us all to break the stigma of ADHD, to embrace our individual imperfections, and to find our unique paths to being our true selves.

 

Strive not to be perfect, but to be whole.” - Jane Fonda

 

We all know the feeling - the one where you aren’t good enough.
You’re not smart enough, or skinny enough, or tall enough, or fast enough.
You look around you and you think: “everyone has this figured out but me”.

Sprinkle mental health issues on top of those feelings, and you likely feel even worse.

If you have undiagnosed ADHD until adulthood, you have been told your whole life just how not perfect you are.

How you would do better at school if you tried harder
How if you had any respect for others, you would arrive on time.
How everyone else has learned to put up their hand instead of interrupting the class. 
How you should stop doing things last minute. 
How you should learn to control your feelings better. 
How you are different and not like the others. 
How you should be more like that other person who has everything figured out.

And you find yourself wishing you knew which course to pick, which bus to catch, what words to write, what foods to say no to, and which friends to say yes to.

You picture that everyone has it figured out but you. You look to others to try to find answers. You try to be like those that are doing it right.

But instead you get more stuck. And you lose track even more.
You think that everything you do is not good enough.
You think that everything you are is not enough. You want to be perfect like everyone else. You want to be okay.

But when you have ADHD, your symptoms get in your way.
They hold you back from your wants.
They tell you that you can’t do it.
They tell your brain to give up - before you even start.
They make every step feel like a leap.
They try to stop you every single day.

So please, don’t try to be perfect.
Don’t look to others for answers.
Don’t let ADHD take away all that you are.
Don’t let the comments of others hold you back.
Don’t do it like the others at all.

See ADHD for what it is: a neurotransmitter imbalance.
See you for who you are: An imperfect and important human being.
Look inside you for your steps.

 

 

 

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